remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
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his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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