My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
