Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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