brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
