woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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