Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize