"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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