omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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