i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
