there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
