All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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