Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
