i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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