Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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