i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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