Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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