i already hear my dad disowning me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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