You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
