a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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