He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
