Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
