He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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