Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
