Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
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Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i believe in u and ur pee
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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