OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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