You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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