you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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