Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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