opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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