I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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