I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
