Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
