i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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