Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
