And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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