States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
