I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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