The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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