Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
