Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We are two peas in an std pod
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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