Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
