So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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