I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Bang-toberfest begins!!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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