i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
