Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize