butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My liver just broke up with me...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
