Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
