someone get that fucking seahorse.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize