oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
