So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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