her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
