didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
