Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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