I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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