I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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