he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
