So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
