its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
