I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize