Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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