his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
