Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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