I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
