hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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