Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
