Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this boner is exhausting
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
