I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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