did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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