Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
