i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
